INSPIRING LIFE SCHOOL PODCAST
EPISODE 28 – MANAGING YOUR BRAIN
INSPIRING LIFE SCHOOL PODCAST
EPISODE 28 TRANSCRIPT:
MANAGING YOUR BRAIN
WELCOME TO THIS EPISODE WHICH IS ALL ABOUT MANAGING YOUR BRAIN
So welcome to this episode my friend which is all about managing your brain.
So this episode was prompted by a quote I heard the other day where it was asked: who is the boss of your brain?
Do you manage your brain or is it the other way around: where your brain sort of runs the show and you are much like a puppet on a string, completely dependent on what it dictates you to do, say, think and feel, rather than the other way around.
Now I know that’s a rather weird analogy but the truth you do have control over the thoughts that run through your head.
You are in fact the boss if you choose to reclaim that title, and say: hey, I know a better way and this way will serve me better in the long run.
So before we dive into this discussion I think it’s best that we look at how our brains work.
So our brains are made up of two main parts which is our lower brain and upper brain or prefrontal cortex.
It’s super important to have a good grasp of this info so that you know how to manage each part when it tries to influence how you live each day.
So let’s start with our lower brain which is the primitive part of our brain that’s main purpose is to keep us alive.
Not only does the lower brain of all the basic human functions like breathing, keeping our heart beating, swallowing, balance and movement it also basically wants to seek pleasure, avoid pain and conserve energy.
This is mostly the part that happens automatically, without us having to expend too much energy.
And then you have the upper brain which is also known as the higher brain or pre-frontal cortex.
This is the part of the brain that separates us from other animal species.
It’s the part of your brain that you use when you set long-term goals and it isn’t concerned so much with immediate pleasure but instead what will serve you best in the long run.
We use this part of our brain to make wise decisions, to work towards long-term goals, to think critically and strategically, control our impulses and make choices that lead to long-term gratification rather than short-term pleasures that don’t always serve us best.
So I like to think of the lower brain and upper brain as a toddler or little monkey alongside an adult who knows a little better.
It’s useful for us to also know that the lower brain THINKS it knows what’s best for us.
It thinks we need to eat that piece of cake because we need food to stay alive and we will die if we starve. It wants us to skip exercise in order to conserve our energy.
It is focused on immediate gratification and is very impulse driven.
However if we operate from that lower brain section of the brain at all more often than not we find that we behave in ways that don’t always serve us best in the long run.
It helps to remember that we have the choice to tap into our higher brain whenever we like, even if it takes more conscious effort, even if it doesn’t always feel good because remember the lower brain is the part which seeks pleasure and some of our higher brain tasks aren’t always pleasurable in the short term even though these actions will help us reach our goals in the long term.
Another way of looking at it is to imagine you are driving in a car and you have a bratty toddler strapped in the car seat at the back screaming at you where to go and what to do next.
That toddler is much like your lower brain, it wants to be heard, it wants you to do what he or she is demanding to have right now but as an adult you are wiser and smarter and you are in the driver’s seat.
In order to dream big and chase our goals we need to learn to silence that toddler or lower brain at times and speak to it lovingly, like “yes of course you want to do that and you think that is best for you, but I am the adult, I am in charge and my higher brain is telling me that something different is best for me in the long term.”
I think it is also important to step back and understand why we are driven to do things at times that don’t make sense or seem to be self-sabotaging or counter-intuitive behaviours.
We do it because we have that lower brain portion that is primal and focused on our survival. It thinks it’s telling us to do what is best for us.
At times it does protect us from danger and we are wired with this natural flight or fight instinct which served us well for millions of years.
But you need to remember that this lower brain doesn’t control your actions and it isn’t in the driver’s seat.
You are.
You get to decide whether the higher brain or lower brain wins out with every decision you make in your life.
Your higher brain doesn’t need to give in to the lower brain when it is being like that out-of-control tantruming toddler, we aren’t living in a time or place anymore where our survival is at stake every day.
Our higher brain can respond to the lower brain in much the same way that a parent speaks to a toddler, “like yes darling, I know you want that chocolate, I know you want that new toy, but there is a time and place for everything.
You need to be patient, you need to calm down, you need to have more faith and trust in the choices I am making each day.
Even if things don’t feel pleasurable right now – like the exercising I am doing, and the work I am putting into my business or the uncomfortable discussion I am having with my partner or kids I know what is best for me in the long run and this different action is the right choice for me to take.”
I think it’s also important to cut yourself some slack when your lower brain is being louder than usual and your higher brain succumbs to its wishes on occasion.
Having these urges and desires is totally normal.
It’s part of being a human.
Nothing has gone wrong when you want something that you know isn’t best for you in the long run. It’s just your lower brain being more demanding than usual and that little demanding voice will never go away.
What we need to learn to do instead is get really good with managing our brains and directing our attention to where we want it to go.
You are the boss my friend.
You are in the driver’s seat on this journey called life.
Take the time to really observe and study your thoughts and feelings.
When something comes up that you know isn’t making you feel good in the long term, like you are constantly giving into your urges or feel angry or frustrated or overwhelmed, step back and ask yourself:
“Isn’t it interesting that I am choosing to think these thoughts? Are these thoughts useful to me? What do I need to do differently in order to get the results I really want to achieve in my life?” How can I better control my lower brain so that it doesn’t constantly derail me from my goals or wreak havoc on my life?
Remember nothing has gone wrong and you can handle cravings…it is just a feeling that will pass with time if you allow it to.
You can also cope with fear when it comes to chasing your goals…that too is a feeling that the lower brain will have your brain screaming to stop, beware, danger might be ahead…but that’s only because your brain wants to stay safe and comfortable, it would much prefer that you live in your comfort zone so it doesn’t ever have to experience discomfort or stress or the unknown.
Your brain is wired that way – absolutely nothing has gone wrong when you feel this way – but you do have the power and option to guide it in the direction you would prefer using your higher brain.
Your higher brain is there to help you make plans, your higher brain will help you make decisions, your higher brain will help you reach your goals, but only if you manage it well.
So make sure that it is sitting there in the driver’s seat of your car rather than allowing the lower brain toddler or monkey take control of that wheel.
You better believe that this toddler will be wishing it could sit in that seat but have no fear, it is strapped in the car seat and can’t get out.
All it can do is yell at you and try to dictate your actions like a kid maneuvering a remote control car with a remote.
You need to learn to speak to that toddler in a way that calms it down.
Of course it won’t always listen and sometimes you will give in but that’s okay.
The first part of this process of managing your brain is understanding that this toddler will never grow up and will always be around.
Teachers go to college for years in order to learn how to manage kindergarteners in a classroom well so that they aren’t non-stop running around with a sharpie, drawing pictures on the wall and you will need to give yourself the same grace and time to get skilled at this task.
This takes time and practice to learn to manage your lower brain. It takes time and practice to direct your higher brain to take control in your life.
Sometimes the lower brain which is screaming for comfort and instant pleasure will win out but that’s okay.
Rather than beat yourself up over this I want you to know that of course this will happen on occasion.
It is perfectly normal and just confirms that you are a normal human being like everyone else, with urges and desires that are screaming for your attention.
But because we obviously don’t really want that toddler to control our whole life I invite you to really become conscious of how your lower brain and higher brain might be influencing your life each day.
Going back to my original question do you manage your brain or does your brain manage you?
I love this quote by T. Harv Eker who said: “training and managing your own mind is the most important skill you could ever own, in terms of both happiness and success.”
It’s really important to master your emotion and hopefully we all know by now that our emotions are determined by the thoughts we have.
Every circumstance in this world is neutral and it all depends on what we CHOOSE to think that will determine our consequent feelings, actions and results.
So when you change your thoughts you can change your life.
Remember our lower brains want us to remain safe and comfortable and to have a life full of instant pleasure but this behaviour is usually counterproductive when it comes to chasing our goals.
Sometimes you will need to give up what you really want right now – like to watch two hours of TV or go online-shopping or eat that donut – in order to achieve something ultimately more valuable months or years down the track.
Sometimes you will need to step outside your comfort zone.
Sometimes you will need to sit with discomfort for long periods of time.
Sometimes you will need to face your fears which your lower brain won’t like but a fear of success or fear of doing videos or fear of failing won’t hurt you now nor serve you like it did back when caveman hid in their caves when there was a bear outside and their primal fear served them well because there was a real chance of them being attacked or killed.
So slow down and study the thoughts you are having in your head.
Remember you get to decide what you think about any situation every single time.
Our brains like to solve problems and like to be correct so it will always be looking for evidence to confirm your thoughts and confirm it is right.
So why not use this to your advantage.
Tell yourself you can do it, that you will find a way.
Allow your emotions to come up and then decide how you want to proceed from there.
How do you want to show up in this world?
Try to understand and really explore why you might be choosing thoughts that don’t serve you and then know that you can do it a better or different way if you choose to.
Your brain is like a muscle, you need to exercise it and practice often in order for it to get stronger.
As Buddha said “rule your mind or it will rule you.”
Train your higher brain my friend to be in charge of that little monkey toddler than wants to boss you around!
Grant yourself some grace if or when your lower brain gets its own brain.
Ultimately you are in charge of who takes the lead!
So I hope this episode has been useful to you.
As always thanks so much for being here with me.
I love and appreciate you all and can’t wait to catch you in the next episode.
Before You Go…
- Grab your free gift: How To Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself Guide (4 steps to finally get out of your own way) CLICK HERE
- Decide which course will suit you best CLICK HERE
- Listen to my Inspiring Mom Life podcast on Spotify or via Apple Podcasts.
With a degree in psychology, Frances Vidakovic is a certified life coach, course creator and host of the Inspiring Life Podcast. Her superpower is transforming dreamers into doers with simple, kick-up-the-butt strategies.
