How To Control Your Emotions – 5 Simple Steps
Want to know how to control your emotions? Here are 5 simple steps to help you stay cool, calm and collected when feeling highly emotional.
Let’s talk about how to control our emotions.
Have you ever said something out of anger or rumbled-up emotions? How did you feel afterward? Did you wish you could have done things differently?
You’re not alone if you have ever felt this way. As humans we are thinking and feeling creatures and at times, our emotions will run high and feel super strong. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of because we made our emotions get the best of us.
The only issue is when we get so emotional about something that it negatively affects how we interact with others and our decisions.
It’s one thing to be angry and composed and another thing to be angry and then lash out at people and say things we regret.
The truth is our mood affects us more than we can imagine. It impacts the way we act if we don’t manage them well and our actions create the results we have in life.
So, we must keep our emotions in check or more importantly, learn to control how we allow our emotions to affect us. Having control over your emotions will make you mentally and emotionally strong.
This of course doesn’t mean you can or will never experience another negative emotion again. OF COURSE, YOU WILL! You are a human.
The good news is however that it is possible to manage the way you let these emotions impact your life. Like everything else, you can learn to control your emotions through practice and consistency.
Here are some practical steps to help gain better control over your emotions:
How To Control Your Emotions
1-Identify your triggers.
You know yourself the best. What do you think your emotional triggers are? What sparks strong emotion in you? What makes you feel as if you have reached the point of “losing it”? When you can identify your triggers, it’s easier to dodge or see them coming so you can analyze the situation.
- For instance, if you realize that watching scary TV shows movies reminds you of old memories that cause you fear, you can avoid watching any horror or scary movies. This is something I have personally implemented in my life.
- As a kid and teen, I felt emotionally scarred by watching AUSTRALIA’S MOST WANTED every week with my family. I would lie in bed afterwards and think there was a chance I might get murdered at night. Crazy right? But as a kid and teen, it felt like a possibility. So, as an adult I try to avoid any show that has a goal to incite fear in us (so yep, I don’t want to watch any of SAW movies!)
How To Control Your Emotions
2-Analyze your impact.
Think about the aftereffects of your actions. Sometimes we only see how badly our actions affect others after doing them. But what if we give it some thought BEFORE we lose our cool? What would it be like if you stop to think about the impact of your actions before we make a move?
- You can ask yourself these questions AHEAD OF TIME: Am I acting on impulse? Am I thinking logically? Does my decision feel right to me? How will my words and actions affect those around me? How will I feel about this later?
How To Control Your Emotions
3-Accept your emotions.
Sometimes, out of ego, we feel like our emotions are the TRUTH. We believe they are justified rather than realizing that they are connected to the thoughts that triggered them in the first place.
That’s not to say that you can’t feel any emotion that feels true to you (of course you can). As long as you realize that these feelings are triggered by your own thoughts.
I recommend accepting how you feel rather than resisting it and allowing the emotion to wash through you and then out of you, rather than burying it deep inside of you or pretending it doesn’t exist when it does.
- Take some time to accept what you feel. Covering your emotions or pretending not to feel how you feel only makes it worse. It doesn’t make it go away.
- Anger sometimes disguises emotions that feel weak, like hurt, guilt, disappointment or embarrassment. I call it a secondary emotion – so what do you think is buried UNDERNEATH THE ANGER?
How To Control Your Emotions
4-Find a solution.
So, you’re feeling angry or some other negative emotion – what next then? Maybe taking deep breaths for a few minutes or going away from the scene helps you control your emotions.
- Look for practical ways to control your emotions when you find yourself in situations that could trigger you.
How To Control Your Emotions
5-Communicate effectively.
Most complicated unresolved issues result from inadequate communication. You want to say something but you don’t (at least not in a clear, rational and logical manner – screaming the words out to someone else DOES NOT COUNT!).
To diffuse the situation and lessen the strength of your emotions, let the air of your emotional balloon. Say what you need to say in a calm and collected tone. Can you see the other person’s side of the story? Are you willing to give people the benefit of the doubt?
- Being all worked up by your feelings can potentially blind you from seeing how you’re expressing them. So, take a few deep breaths and talk it out calmly. Worst case scenario, you can always agree to disagree.
In the end, learning how to gain control over how we react to things requires some work and mind training. Keep in mind it will require patience and consistency from you but I promise you, the results of learning how to manage your mind are so rewarding.
Much love,
Frances Vidakovic
Before You Go…
- Grab your free gift: How To Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself Guide (4 steps to finally get out of your own way) CLICK HERE
- Decide which course will suit you best CLICK HERE
- Listen to my Inspiring Mom Life podcast on Spotify or via Apple Podcasts.
With a degree in psychology, Frances Vidakovic is a certified life coach, course creator and host of the Inspiring Life Podcast. Her superpower is transforming dreamers into doers with simple, kick-up-the-butt strategies.
