How To Forgive Yourself – 4 Tips To Do It Today
Want to know how to forgive yourself today? Here are 4 tips to get over your own mistakes and guilt and MOVE ON TODAY!
Let’s chat about how to forgive yourself with ease.
You have probably noticed that when you forgive, forget or let go of past grievances and mistakes your life probably feels a little lighter.
And when you don’t let go…when you intentionally feel like you can’t move on from your past mistakes, the opposite is true. Your mind and life feel heavy. It feels like you’re constantly haunted by what you did, and no matter how much time has passed, you can’t forgive yourself.
Ah this has to end today my friend! Because here’s the thing. Making mistakes is a normal and inevitable part of life. But unfortunately, when we make mistakes, we think that it’s something we have to carry around with us forever and consequently it’s tough to forgive ourselves.
How to tell if you aren’t great at forgiving yourself? Here are a few clues. You may dwell on our errors, feel guilty or ashamed, and think that we are not worthy of forgiveness for way longer than necessary. But self-forgiveness is an essential step on the road to happiness and peace of mind.
I repeat, if you want to feel at peace and experience a more joyful life, you have to master this skill of self-forgiveness. I recommend this not because forgiveness yourself will make ME feel better but because it will change your own life.
So, one of the first steps to take is to remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes. It’s a part of being human. I consider making mistakes in fact to be an essential part of the human experience.
NONE OF US CAN AVOID IT and even if you run, hide or ignore taking action, that in itself can be ANOTHER MISTAKE! Are you with me on this?
However just because you have made a mistake doesn’t mean that you’re a terrible or unworthy person. Seriously it is just a sign that you are a very NORMAL person and recognizing this can help you be more forgiving towards yourself.
Forgiving yourself is the first step to moving on and learning from your past experiences. It also opens up the possibility of forgiveness from others. Because here’s a little truth bomb: how can you expect others to do the same if you can’t forgive yourself?
There are a few tips to help make self-forgiveness a little easier:
HOW TO FORGIVE YOURSELF
1-Allow yourself time to heal and don’t rush the process.
I don’t expect anyone to naturally jump straight into self-forgiveness. Why? Because it takes time to recover from a physical wound, and it also takes time to heal from the emotional pain of making a mistake.
- If the beauty of making a mistake is LEARNING FROM IT, then I want you to keep this in mind. Ask yourself: What did I learn from this experience? It’s equally important to give yourself time to heal afterward if there was some pain or negative discomfort involved.
- Rushing the healing process can not only feel forced but might lead to further anxiety and stress, preventing you from moving on healthily.
- Remember, part of healing is accepting what happened and forgiving yourself.
- Trying to forget what happened or dwelling on what could have been will keep you stuck in the past and news alert: you may miss seeing the wisdom and growth you can learn from that experience. Instead, learn from it and then move on to focus on the present and building a purposeful future.
HOW TO FORGIVE YOURSELF
2-Focus on the present.
At some point you will need to move on! Remember living in the past won’t change anything. Instead of dwelling on your mistakes, focus on the present and what you can do to improve the situation.
Imagine if we went through life carrying a rock for every mistake we ever made in life. There is no way you would be able to carry a backpack that heavy. So let it go! For example, if you make a mistake at work, focus on doing your best and learning from your mistake.
- By focusing on the present, you’ll be able to move on from your mistakes and become a stronger person from the experience.
HOW TO FORGIVE YOURSELF
3-Seek support and help.
I always say it’s okay (more than okay – it’s essential!) to ask for help if you need it. If you are struggling with self-forgiveness, talk to someone about what you’re going through, such as a friend, therapist, or online support group.
Talking about your experiences can help you process them in a healthy way and see things from a different perspective.
- It can also reassure you to know that you’re not alone in what you’re feeling. FYI: you are never alone.
HOW TO FORGIVE YOURSELF
4-Be gentle with yourself.
Fun fact: beating yourself up about your mistakes will only make things worse. What, are you surprised about this revelation? Did you think it would make you feel better? NO, IT WON’T. Instead, it’s important to be kind to yourself and give yourself credit for trying your best.
- Remember that every human in this world makes mistakes but you do have the option to learn from them. Forgiving yourself is therefore a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s also a smart move, not a dumb move.
I know that deciding to forgive yourself is not always easy, but I promise, it’s worth it. By forgiving yourself, you take the first step towards moving on, self-growth and learning from your experiences. Remember to be patient with yourself, talk to someone about what you’re going through, and be gentle.
HOW TO FORGIVE YOURSELF
I want to remind you one more time: You deserve forgiveness, and you will get there in time.
If you are struggling, please speak to a good friend or therapist. Talking to a therapist will provide you with practical steps to guide you through the healing process.
There is absolutely no shame in seeking help and doing the work to get through a potentially challenging situation. Self-forgiveness may just be the healing that you are yearning for.
Much love,
Frances Vidakovic xx
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With a degree in psychology, Frances Vidakovic is a certified life coach, course creator and host of the Inspiring Life Podcast. Her superpower is transforming dreamers into doers with simple, kick-up-the-butt strategies.
