by

dream big my friend podcast by frances vidakovic

 

 

INSPIRING LIFE SCHOOL PODCAST

EPISODE  10

INSPIRING TEENS TO DREAM BIGGER

 

 

dream big my friend podcast

 

 

 

INSPIRING LIFE SCHOOL PODCAST

EPISODE 10

TRANSCRIPT INSPIRING TEENS TO DREAM BIGGER

 

 

Welcome to this episode which is all about inspiring teens to be bigger.

So if you have a teen yourself you may have noticed that they are not always open to receiving advice.

They in fact tend to personally disagree with me just for the fun of it, because they don’t particularly care to be told what to do.

But here’s the thing.

 

Whether they will admit it or not they will need your guidance during these formative years.

They will need your support.

 

I have actually written a book and created a course called INSPIRING TEENS specifically outlining 50 important lessons that will help them to live life without regret.

I wrote it way before I had teens myself during I knew that this was information I would want them to have in their hands as they were entering the turbulent teen years.

Most adults wish however they had had more guidance, support and encouragement as a teenager.

They wish they had been braver and more confident.

They wish they had been less afraid and more willing to use their own voice.

 

More than anything they wish someone had shared with them the all- important words: like “hey, please don’t worry; everything will end up working out okay.”

 

There are honestly things you absolutely need to know in life that you will never, ever learn it alongside Math and English at school.

And we will speak about five of those 50 lessons here in this episode today. So let’s jump right in!

 

 

1 – RECOGNISE WHO YOU ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL IS NOT NECESSARILY WHO YOU WILL BE IN LATER LIFE

 

In high school we are often given a specific role to play – there are the geeks, art freaks, jocks,  drama guys, goths, popular kids and whatever other label they have going on in your high school at the time.

If you can resist falling under such a label that is great but chances are it will be granted to you whether you like it or not.

Now here’s the thing – when you have been labelled as something (whether it’s super nice or super suckful) it may feel like this label is going to stick forever.

 

It may also feel like a mask you can’t strip off no matter how hard you try.

 

For the four to six years you are in high world these roles seem like a division between the students.

It isn’t until you finally leave the fish bowl of a school environment that you realize these labels were arbitrary.

They kept us locked in a box and misunderstood.

 

I want to assure you just because a label has been placed upon your shoulders does not mean you need to pigeon-hole yourself into this little niche too.

 

Resist the label.

Know you are more than a one-word tag.

And guess what?

Everyone else in high school is more than their one-word tag too.

 

Do your best to expand yourself and your friendships.

 

Spread your wings by speaking to new people, especially those who are outside your social circle.

Once you are outside high school you will be presented with and expected to socialize with so many different types of people that it is best if you are capable of getting along with everyone, sooner rather than later.

 

2 – UNDERSTAND FAILURE DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE A FAILURE

 

As a teenager failure often feels like the worst thing in the world.

When you fail you feel like a loser.

You get angry at yourself and depressed about the world.

What if I told you though failure is a necessary step to pass on the way to success?

What if I told you IT’S OKAY to fail and make mistakes?

 

The truth is failure is something you need to embrace in life instead doing anything you can to avoid it.

 

Because this is how we learn – we learn from making errors and discovering what does and doesn’t work.

Try to find someone in this world who has never made a mistake in his or her life.

I’ll save you the fun of searching endlessly for a person that doesn’t exist.

We all experience failure and hardship.

We all have good days and bad days.

This is part of being a human and nothing to ever be embarrassed, anxious or nervous about.

 

3 – DON’T BE IN SUCH A RUSH TO GROW UP

 

Your teenage years are that funny in-between stage in life.

Teenagers are treated like children but expected to behave like adults.

Juice becomes alcohol.

Candy becomes cigarettes.

Love becomes real.

Timeouts become detentions.

Everything seems impossible.

 

Teenagers are honestly some of the most misunderstood people on the planet.

 

One minute you are a kid playing with your Barbie dolls.

The next minute you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

But you need to remember you didn’t always wear makeup or straighten your hair.

You didn’t always care about what anyone else thought.

You didn’t always care about popularity.

You used to love school and thought everyone was your best friend.

You were happy most of the time too.

 

Can I fill you in on a little secret?

You have the choice and ability to hold onto some of that childhood innocence and magic for a bit longer.

 

You don’t need to be in such a rush to grow up.

 

Once you are a fully grown adult that’s it – you can never go back.

You can never be that fun, carefree kid again once these teenage years have passed you by.

Instead of spending all your time online, hating life, focused on exams, bitchy friends and bullies, wanting to run away, crying too much, waiting for better days to come, you can enjoy your youth.

You can see life as an adventure, appreciate the friends you do have, sleep under the stars, tell stories around the campfire and fall in love with everything around you without worrying about losing your heart.

There is beauty in staying young and free.

So don’t be in such a rush to grow up…

 

4 – RESPECT YOURSELF

 

In case you are wondering self-respect is defined as holding yourself in high esteem and believing you are good and worthy of being treated well.

It is when you know you deserve to be treated right.

As a result you do not tolerate or accept others lying to you, hurting you, putting you down or making you feel terrible.

 

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others on how you demand to be treated so don’t settle for anything other than respectful behaviour towards yourself.

 

This is something that is so important for you to understand.

In a nutshell: if you don’t treat yourself and your body with respect others won’t respect you and your body either. 

 

Some words of advice with regards to self-respect:

 

  • Never chase or beg for love, affection or attention. If it isn’t given to you freely by another person, it isn’t worth having. If he or she doesn’t see your value it is time to peacefully move onto someone who does.
  • Don’t ask why someone keeps hurting you. Ask yourself why you keep allowing it to happen.
  • Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer helps you grow or makes you happy.
  • Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you really do. Sometimes you can mean nothing to someone who means the world to you.
  • When you walk away from people like that it’s isn’t about being petty or proud. You are showing yourself self-respect.
  • Just because someone desires you doesn’t mean they value or respect you.
  • When you are saying yes to others make sure you aren’t saying no to yourself.

 

Try to always remember this – you are worthy of self-respect. Own it. Live it. Breathe it. Understand it. Because others will always treat you with as much as respect as you show yourself.

 

 

5 – ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT

 

 

Our one prime purpose in this life is to help others and if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them. Dalia Lama.

 

 

Don’t be shy about asking for help.

It doesn’t mean you are weak, it means you are strong, wise and speaks volumes of your character.

It means you acknowledge life isn’t always easy and we don’t have to go through everything in life alone.

 

Everyone no matter how big and strong could use a little help sometimes.

 

Sometimes asking for help is the bravest move we can make so never be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

What are we here for if not for each other?

There are going to be times in your life everything feels hopeless.

You may feel depressed and lonely.

You may feel like things are never, ever going to get better.

You can’t see an end to the problem; you can’t foresee how things could ever be fixed or go back to normal.

 

 

At this point it is important to ask yourself some questions:

 

  • What do you wish was different?
  • What is the hardest part about your current problem?
  • How does it make you feel – mad, upset, sad, angry, worried, scared, alone?
  • What else has happened that makes things worse?
  • What could you do to make things better?
  • Can you talk to someone about this?
  • Can you reach out to him or her for help?
  • What can you do to help yourself cope?
  • Is there anything that has helped you feel better in the past?
  • What could you do to take the first step forward?  
  • If you had unlimited powers to change things, what would you do?

 

 

If you don’t see the answer yourself it is important to reach out for help.

 

There is always another solution, even if you can’t see it right now.

Spend time with friends who make you feel good.

Get involved in activities you used to enjoy.

Speak up and use your voice.

It is ALWAYS okay to ask for help.

 

Also do not underestimate the difference YOU can make in the life of others.

 

Helping the weak and vulnerable will make you strong.

So step forward, reach out and offer your help to others.

Your words, your kindness, may be the lift they need.

You don’t need to have a reason to help people…just do it.

People often forget kindness is free.

 

 

6 – STOP DOUBTING YOURSELF

 

 

They say doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will and I believe this to be true.

Doubt is that feeling when you are not sure or confident about something.

Doubt is like a parasite, a negative state of mind that eats away at your confidence and makes you believe your dreams are impossible to achieve.

 

Doubt sucks away all your confidence and motivation so that the battle is over even before it has even begun.

 

When you have doubts you lose everything and gain nothing.

So what can you do to stop doubts from killing your dreams?

Firstly make smart decisions that honor your heart, your future and your sense of self.

You know deep down that you have what it takes for whatever it is you want to do.

 

Confidence is a quality you can find in yourself no matter how shy, scared or uncertain you are.

 

We all have problems with our self-esteem at certain times in our life – that is completely normal. We all sometimes question our worth or abilities.

Self-confidence however comes from within – knowing failure won’t kill you; it will only make you stronger.

 

Know you will usually get better at things with practice. 

 

Confidence is found by taking small steps of faith and knowing you can truly accomplish whatever it is you want with persistence, belief and determination.

 

Start by acknowledging your doubt and ask yourself where it has come from?

 

Could it be some of your doubts are untrue?

Are your doubts reasonable or unreasonable?

Practice letting doubt go; tell yourself it is okay to give things a go.

 

Even if you fail at least you have taken action and have the opportunity to learn something new.

 

When you fail you have the motivation to try harder next time in an attempt to reach your goal. Doubt on the other hand stops you from even trying.

Change the way you look at doubt.

It is much better to try to prove yourself wrong and fail rather than letting doubt control your life.

Don’t let your doubts sabotage your actions.

 

8 – LIFE DOESN’T ALWAYS GO ACCORDING TO PLAN

 

So here’s the thing: life doesn’t always go according to plan.

You may have already worked this out in your life.

Maybe you made plans to do something special with a friend and they ditched you at the last minute.

Maybe your parents promised you a new phone for your birthday and instead all you got were some socks.

 

All I can say is this: yes it seriously sucks but life is not always predictable or fair.

 

Sorry I know you probably don’t want to hear this from me but it’s true.

Sometimes the best person doesn’t get the prize; sometimes the pushy person gets recognised ahead of the nice one who waited longer and more patiently.

Sometimes you get blamed for things you didn’t do or you miss out on things you had your heart set on getting.

 

But that’s life.

 

It’s unfair and unpredictable for EVERYONE so in a way that’s the only thing that makes it fair (in a weird kind of way).

Much better you get used to this fact instead of fighting something you can’t change.

This is why it is so important to be flexible and to learn how to go with the flow.

Often you will need a Plan B or C, or maybe even a Plan D, E or F, depending on how many challenges you end up facing in life.

 

Being flexible means being willing and open to change because life will never stay the same.

 

This doesn’t mean you have to give up on your goals.

It simply means you have to be open to trying out different methods to achieve what you want.

Life is series of choices and changes.

If you don’t make the team, get the job, or pass a test, try not to stress too much. 

Your life isn’t over…when one door closes another door usually opens.

 

BEFORE YOU GO

 

 

 

Until next time, dream big my friend  xx

 

 

dream big my friend podcast

 

 

Before You Go…

 

  • Grab your free gift: How To Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself Guide (4 steps to finally get out of your own way) CLICK HERE
  • Decide which course will suit you best CLICK HERE
  • Listen to my Inspiring Mom Life podcast on Spotify or via Apple Podcasts.