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when you aren't perfect

when you aren't perfect

 

 

INSPIRING LIFE SCHOOL PODCAST

EPISODE  37 – WHEN YOU AREN’T PERFECT

 

 

dream big my friend podcast

 

 

 

INSPIRING LIFE SCHOOL PODCAST

EPISODE 37 TRANSCRIPT:

WHEN YOU AREN’T PERFECT

 

 

 

WELCOME TO THIS EPISODE WHICH IS ALL ABOUT  WHEN YOU AREN’T PERFECT

 

So I have to admit – one of the things that I have struggled most with when it comes to personal growth and actually being a life coach is this expectation that the teacher must have it all together and be totally perfect before they can guide others on their personal growth journey.

 

The reason that this has been a struggle for me is because I recognise that I’m not perfect, I know that I make mistakes, plenty of mistakes and in some ways.

 

Even though I myself see that challenges and mistakes as a gift and how they provide us with incredible learning tools – there is this underlying stereotype that you need to be perfect in order to teach these tools.

But here’s the thing.

I am far from perfect.

 

Because I have a human brain I am still prone to feeling the full range of human emotions each day.

 

Even though I am better at managing these emotions that doesn’t mean to say that I don’t sometimes or often feel frustrated or annoyed or overwhelmed or sad or angry. 

I do feel these things because I am a human with a human brain and this is the way we have been wired as humans.

This isn’t to say that I dwell in any of these emotions – that I sit there holding tight onto negative emotions or refuse to let them go.

Because that isn’t true.

 

My ultimate goal is to see what I can do to live life with more intention, peace, compassion, love and calm but if I pretended that I never experienced negative emotions, well I would be lying to you.

 

And if I am really honest, I think that this is why there is so much disenchantment with the self-help world, when you have motivational speakers who try to pump you up with advice like STOP MAKING EXCUSES, it’s up to you to make it happen, you can do it etc.

They paint this picture that change is easy and when you don’t change then in some ways you are a failure.

 

When the truth is, there is no instant quick fix or course you can take that will help embrace these tools forever and ever.

 

If you have ever read a self-help book and felt inspired, you will have probably noticed that it only takes a few days for that self-help after-glow to disappear and after that you feel compelled to go back to your old ways and habits. 

This is why I say that personal growth is a constant practice we must commit to.

I think we all know that it would be crazy to think that you would get super fit or toned after one exercise class.

Or even if you did work out consistently every day for a year and ended up with a sculpted body, I think we all know that if we never did exercise again for the rest of our life after that and just ate whatever junk food we like, that body would eventually change and reflect what we consumed on a daily basis.

 

Our minds are the same. They reflect that material we process and consume.

 

Which is why for me, I think it is important to do things like listen to inspiring podcasts and read books that help my mind grow because much like a plant needs the sun and water to flourish so my mind too needs this constant positive reinforcement and guidance.

I definitely notice a difference in my thoughts when I regularly consume positive content versus when I don’t and just watch TV and scroll through social media etc. 

So, coming back to this example where I noted that some people have a pet peeve about self-help gurus being so positive.

This is where I put my hand up to admit that I get it.

I understand why some people would have an issue with speakers who act like being positive is the secret to all things in life.

I admit that looking on the bright side of things is important, so being an optimist versus a pessimist but I also recognise that some people aren’t there yet. 

 

I recognise that for some people their brains really don’t feel like they are making excuses when they say they can’t do something.

 

These excuses actually feel like the truth to them and some people genuinely don’t feel like they can do it or make it happen because guess what, if they believed they could, they would be doing it already.

Now I don’t know if it’s because I was a writer long before I was a life coach, but I’ve always taken the time to imagine what it would be like to be in someone else’s shoes.

I wonder well why would they be thinking the thoughts they have, why would they be feeling the way they do, what experiences have molded them to become the person they are today? 

And when you take the time to step into someone else’s shoes you can sometimes see that it isn’t as easy as we think to shed off years of experiences that have led us to believe that we aren’t worthy…

That we aren’t capable, that achieving our dreams isn’t meant for us, that it’s easy for other people who have lived these perfect lives and didn’t grow up inside dysfunctional families or with experiences that eroded our self-worth, confidence and self-esteem.

 

So today I am speaking to those people who might feel as if they are somehow broken while everyone else in this world is more whole.

 

I know that on some level you want to believe in these words – that you are capable of change – you understand it in theory but just can’t seem to make it work in practice.

So, what is a person supposed to do then – if they can’t quite yet form a bridge between where they are at and where they want to be?

The easiest place to start is by first acknowledging that this is your journey, your unique life you are living and that there is nothing to be gained from the expectation that your past needed to be different in order to create a more beautiful life moving forward. 

 

Now before I talk more about what to do when your past has been less than ideal, I think it’s important to accept that there’s no such thing as perfect so you can stop thinking you need to think or behave in a particular way or need nicer, kinder parents and a blemish-free past to make concrete changes in your life. 

 

Honestly, if everyone in this world took a truth serum and opened up about their life you would discover that this perception of perfection is just an illusion.

If asked the question, is your life perfect? there wouldn’t be one person in this world putting up their hand…

Because there is no such thing as the perfect person, perfect child, perfect parent, perfect job, perfect house, perfect anything in this world.

 

The reason this is such great news is that it frees you from this expectation that you yourself need to be perfect.

 

You don’t need to look any particular way or behave in a particular way or change or do anything different to be worthy.

Because you are already worthy. 

 

So let’s just drop this idea right now that you need to change in any way.

 

Let’s just assume that you are already perfectly IMPERFECT because I already know it’s true. Let’s also assume you are beautiful and unique and have something special to offer this world.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED OR DONE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR.

This is also true for all of this in this world.

So what does this mean?

 

It means moving forward you can stop comparing yourself to others because trust me, they too have a human brain that has 60,000 thoughts a day running through it and some of it will include negative emotions.

 

It means even if your past wasn’t filled with rainbows and sunshine, you understand that those darker clouds aren’t here to stay permanently.

 

You can weather any season in life if you stay strong enough and TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR EMOTIONS AND HOW YOU FEEL.

 

So I hope you found this episode to be helpful.

As always thanks so much for being here with me.

I love and appreciate you all and can’t wait to catch you in the next episode.

 

 

 

Before You Go…

 

  • Grab your free gift: How To Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself Guide (4 steps to finally get out of your own way) CLICK HERE
  • Decide which course will suit you best CLICK HERE
  • Listen to my Inspiring Mom Life podcast on Spotify or via Apple Podcasts.