INSPIRING LIFE SCHOOL PODCAST
EPISODE 36 – WHEN PLANS CHANGE
INSPIRING LIFE SCHOOL PODCAST
EPISODE 36 TRANSCRIPT:
WHEN PLANS CHANGE
WELCOME TO THIS EPISODE WHICH IS ALL ABOUT WHEN PLANS CHANGE
Or more specifically when you thought things were going to go a particular way and then they suddenly change.
Now this is a really applicable topic for me to be discussing right now because it’s summer here in Australia.
The kids are on school holidays for seven weeks until the end of January.
It is just after New Year and before I move on I should say that I really hope you guys all had a lovely Christmas and New Year.
Now this is the first summer in seven years that we actually haven’t gone away camping with friends as we usually would due to COVID.
This summer is also very different one from the type we usually have in Australia, where the sun is always shining and the temperature is typically over 30 degrees celsius or for those who measure temperature in terms of Fahrenheit, that would be 86 degrees and over.
I personally LOVE the warm weather.
The hotter the better for me.
I love spending long days out at the beach.
I love it when it is so hot you feel compelled to jump into the ocean to cool off.
But for us here in Sydney the weather has been sort of miserable over the last few weeks.
Today it’s only going to hit 21 degrees or that’s 70 degrees Fahrenheit which is only bare minimum warm weather here for us but it’s also been drizzling on and off with rain since before Christmas which has sort of put a damper on some of our moods, because it’s not as much fun to organize a beach day or day out in the sunshine when you know the rain is coming.
So even if we hadn’t experienced COVID in 2020 which made us rethink a lot of our assumptions about how our year would pan out we would be doing it now, where hot summer days at the beach is off the days and we are forced to come up with creative new ways for how to spend our time.
So before I mention specifically the thing that has made me speak about this topic let’s talk about COVID for a second and the impact it has had on our life.
Many of us had this expectation that 2020 would look a particular and then this virus completely flipped all of our expectations on its head.
Holidays were cancelled, schools were closed, our health suddenly became something we need to urgently protect.
Our country went into lockdown, our hospitals were strained, stable jobs were lost and as of today almost 85 million people around the world have contracted the virus that we hadn’t even heard of the year before and close to two million people have died.
For many people 2020 was a struggle and I thought I would share with you how I chose to broach the pandemic when we first went into lockdown last March.
I decided to ask myself that what if this pandemic could be something I could learn from?
What if this time at home with the kids was actually a gift?
What if there were blessings to be found despite the new struggles we were all facing?
I’m not sure if you have ever noticed this yourself but a lot of the grief we experience in life comes from expecting things to happen in a particular way and we get upset when they don’t.
We get upset when our friends or family members don’t behave in the way we hope they would.
We get flustered when our kids are sick on a day we need to go to work.
We get annoyed when something happens that causes our plans to change at the very last minute.
We have this expectation that things would look one way and when the reality doesn’t match the picture we painted in our minds, we aren’t so happy about that change.
Now obviously not everything is like this.
Some people are naturally more flexible in life and understand that sometimes LIFE HAPPENS.
Flexibility is actually one of those underrated traits that not many people really ever talk about having or nurturing in their kids, when in fact it is a super useful tool to keep in your personal growth toolbox throughout life.
It’s like Bruce Lee once so wisely said: “notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”
That is what being flexible is all about.
Being adaptable, being willing to let go of all your preconceived expectations and go with the flow.
This does not mean you have to give up on your dreams.
This does not mean you have to stop setting goals.
But what it does mean is having the ability to change your path when necessary and the flexibility to adapt to your surrounding and evolve.
This requires you to keep an open mind and understand that Door A may no longer be the one that takes you where you need to go.
Instead it might be Door B or C or D and you need to knock on all of them to find out.
It’s like that saying – be stubborn about your goals but flexible about your methods.
At some point you need to let go of what you THINK should happen, look around and adapt to what is actually happening in the world around you.
You can be flexible about your actions and also flexible about your attitude too.
That is you don’t need to hold tightly onto any thoughts that are no longer serving you. Be open to alternative thoughts, alternative ways of taking action, alternative ways of achieving your goals.
Being adaptable means you are able to adjust yourself to different conditions.
Charles Darwin figured out early on that it isn’t always the strongest or the most intelligent creatures who survive in this world but those one that can most manage change.
So let me share with you how adaptability will be a useful quality for me to embrace this year.
As you can probably guess when it comes to setting goals I like to dream super big and in the leadup to 2021 I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to achieve in the New Year and brainstorming the baby steps I would be required to take to get there via the quickest route.
This all required me putting in the time and effort to action these smaller tasks every day and I had this preconceived notion that this would not only be easy but also possible.
But then the day before Christmas I opened up a letter from the hospital that informed me that my son was scheduled to have this spinal fusion surgery at the end of January.
Now I have already spoken about this briefly in the HOW TO STOP WORRYING EPISODE but the date initially mentioned to me was mid-2021.
In my head that was the expectation I had and so when it was moved five months early I was like: okay quick mind reset.
I consciously WANTED to be adaptable which meant accepting that some of the commitments I had planned for February would need to be cancelled.
I also needed to get into the headspace that he would potentially be missing the first six weeks of school and that my time spent on my blogs and this podcast would be impacted.
But I was okay with that.
I have noticed that some of the people I admire the most are those who are able to graciously readjust to their surroundings whenever they are required to.
And then just as I got used to this scenario I got another call from the hospital letting me know that his surgery date had been moved forward to January 18, which meant the last two weeks of his summer holidays would be spent in hospital, with me sleeping by his bedside.
But because I was already consciously embracing my intention to be flexible I was like: okay, let’s do this. I know that whatever comes my way I can cope with, even the hard stuff because I can do the hard stuff.
So rather than thinking: oh no, the surgery was supposed to be in June, why are they doing this, they shouldn’t be changing the plans after they told us one date etc.
I was like: THIS IS HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE.
This is a new season of life we are entering – a period of surgery followed by healing and recovery – and even though it wasn’t on my agenda for January, it is happening whether I like it or not, so why not choose to embrace it?
Why not choose to see it as a gift?
I seriously think about the fact that we are so lucky to live in a country that takes care of us, that offers us the opportunity to be cared for by doctors and nurses.
To view it as a negative experience wouldn’t serve me at all, given that it will happen either way.
So why not choose thoughts that serve you?
Now I know that you guys might have had your own version of an unexpected event pop up for you in life and sometimes they really aren’t so pleasant.
Me personally – last year my father-in-law was diagnosed with skin cancer, and it required me to change my schedule so I could take him to his daily radiation treatments.
Did I plan for this to happen?
Nope.
Was it easy rearranging my diary to make time for these appointments?
Nope not always.
But this is another example of LIFE HAPPENING and rather than getting upset or frustrated about our days not looking the way we hoped they would, we understand instead that change is a part of life.
As John Lennon said Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.
But rather than get all shocked when this stuff happens, like WHAT hang on, I didn’t plan for this, I have found it a lot easier to cope with these moments, when I EXPECT that they will happen throughout my life, OFTEN WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT TO.
These moments are an opportunity for us to show compassion and love, demonstrate flexibility and patience, practice coping with challenges which will happen to all humans in this world throughout life and be more intentional about how we spend our time.
I know that not everyone likes that phrase EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON especially when it pertains to death, loss and sickness but if it’s a thought that makes you feel better, you can choose to hold onto it.
I personally find it comforting to me, even though I have lost my fair share of friends and family members way before I ever expected them to go, so that’s a thought that I like to embrace.
You can choose a thought that works for you.
I like to see challenges as a potential blessing.
I like to think the world is secretly working in my favor and that it has my back.
I accept that sometimes things will happen that brings my life to a standstill and that’s okay.
Sometimes I will lose people I love and grief is the price we pay for love.
TRAGEDIES HAPPEN in this world and we know this is true because they do happen and they have always happened. Our pain comes from resisting reality.
This life we live is sometimes crazy, unpredictable, full of highs and lows, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
If living life with intention means experiencing both the good and bad emotions, I can do it.
I want to do it because life is so precious and our time here on Earth is limited.
Anyway I apologise if I have gone off on a tangent here.
My main goal of this podcast episode was to give you a bit of warning in advance that your plans will be stuffed up on occasion and every time you have a choice about how you want to face it.
Do you want to stamp your feet, carry on like a toddler, and wish you had a magic wand that would miraculously change things back to how you want them to be?
Or are you willing instead to go with the flow instead of swimming against the current, drop the expectations, accept what is and trust that things are happening exactly as they are supposed to be happening?
Honestly nothing ever happens exactly as you imagine it will.
When your plans change, take a deep breath, stop overthinking things, trust in yourself and the universe and have some faith.
Whether you like it or not, these are the challenges you are being presented with during your time here on Earth, and it’s up to you how you want to show up when the times are tough.
You have everything you need within you right now to cope and deal with whatever the world throws at you.
It doesn’t mean it will be easy, it doesn’t mean you won’t experience negative emotions but your experience in this world isn’t the adversity or challenges itself but HOW YOU REACT TO THAT ADVERSITY.
That is what will ultimately determine your experiences in life and your life story.
So when your plan changes be ready to change along with it and direct your steering wheel down that different path.
So, I hope this has been helpful to you.
As always, I love and appreciate you all so thanks so much for listening. I can’t wait to catch you in the next episode.
Before You Go…
- Grab your free gift: How To Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself Guide (4 steps to finally get out of your own way) CLICK HERE
- Decide which course will suit you best CLICK HERE
- Listen to my Inspiring Mom Life podcast on Spotify or via Apple Podcasts.
With a degree in psychology, Frances Vidakovic is a certified life coach, course creator and host of the Inspiring Life Podcast. Her superpower is transforming dreamers into doers with simple, kick-up-the-butt strategies.
