INSPIRING LIFE SCHOOL PODCAST
EPISODE 1
STOP WISHING, START DOING
INSPIRING LIFE SCHOOL PODCAST
EPISODE 1 TRANSCRIPT:
STOP WISHING, START DOING
Welcome to this episode on 7 steps to stop wishing and start doing, where I will take you through 7 steps to help you get started on your goals.
STEP 1: Begin With The End In Mind
“Many people die with their music still in them. Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it time runs out.” By Oliver Wendell Holmes
Let’s Jump Straight Into This
I’m not going to tell you all the stuff you most likely already know – like how to set SMART goals (you know, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely) and why you need to get off your bottom to take action chasing them.
I will assume you already KNOW what to do in theory.
In theory, we are all super intelligent and well-informed human beings.
We all know what we need to do. In fact, we could write whole essays on the topic.
But many of us are still stuck.
Stuck and frustrated and annoyed at ourselves.
We keep messing up.
We are unable to stick with the program or schedule (whatever we have decided is the right “program” or “schedule” to keep for that day or month).
Trust me, I know. I have personally been there too before (lots of times in fact, maybe even today!)
Instead We Are Going To Try Something Different
Today I want you to begin with the end in mind.
This concept of Beginning with the End in Mind was first introduced by Dr. Stephen R. Covey in his ground-breaking bestseller, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
In its most basic form, it means always keeping an image of the end of your life in your mind and using it as a frame of reference to evaluate everything you do.
It means you need to start things with a clear idea of where you want to go.
Once you know your intended final destination, you can make sure the steps you take are always in the right direction.
So let’s forget about today or whatever happened yesterday.
Actually why don’t I go as far as to say forget about everything that has happened so far.
Put that all aside for now.
Instead I want you to think about something that none of us like to imagine or ponder on.
That is your funeral.
Terrible isn’t it, to think that this event is one day in your future?
But it is.
No-one in the world can escape it.
Whether you are rich or poor, old or young, famous or an everyday person, life is fragile and death is inevitable.
We don’t know what awaits anyone around the corner of time.
Imagine now that you have reached the end
- What would you want people to say about you?
- How do you want to be remembered?
- What do you hope were your proudest achievements?
- Who do you want to be there with you in the end?
- Is there anything you think you will have regret not having done?
Believe me when I say this task is important – it has the power to change the direction of your life.
So do it for yourself – not for me (remember in this course everything is for your benefit, not mine!).
Do it because you deserve to know where you are heading in life.
These answers will help guide you down the right path.
NOW FOR STEP 2: Identify Your Time-Wasters and Everything Else That Sucks The Energy Right Out of You
In case you haven’t guessed, I believe that time is precious.
The trouble is, as the great Buddha once said, you think you have time.
Let me say that again because it is so simple yet wise.
The trouble is you think you have time…
Another quote I love by Alan Lakein: Time = Life. Therefore waste your time and waste your life, or master your time and master your life.
Admit it, it’s true.
You think you have tomorrow.
You think you have another year.
Maybe you even think you have another ten or twenty years or maybe even thirty or forty up your sleeve.
That is why you have had laid-back attitude about things.
That is why you sometimes don’t really try or care and also why you procrastinate. You think you can do it LATER.
But here’s the thing…
Time is non-refundable so you need to use it with intention.
We have already confirmed that none of us know when our time will be up – NO-ONE KNOWS – that is why you need to make sure you are spending your time wisely.
You need to begin treating time as if it is currency.
You can’t just throw it away as if it is useless or not important!
Trust me; some people would do anything for those moments you are now wasting.
For those who still think time is fleeting, I want you to consider the following scenarios:
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE DAY, ask a terminally ill patient.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the children eagerly awaiting an airplane.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE-SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
It’s time to evaluate the way you spend your time.
Here is a question I want you to think about. If you can stop for a moment grab a pen and paper and Write down everything you do that is WASTING YOUR TIME.
You need to note EVERYTHING that comes to mind which:
- Is stupid and meaningless
- Sucks the energy right out of you
- Won’t matter in a few years’ time
- Makes you feel empty and frustrated
After two minutes I want you to stop (even if you have more ideas coming out) because I think that whatever came out first is what we need to look at dealing with first.
Don’t worry about working out how to tackle or eliminate this problem just yet.
For now you just need to recognize your time-wasters.
STEP 3: Fill Your Life with Things That Make You Happy (You do know what makes you happy right?)
So now that I’ve spoken about the value of time and asked you to identify the most obvious time-wasters in your life, you probably have a good idea exactly which crappy stuff you need to remove from your life.
But there is little point taking away even the bad stuff unless you can fill the empty potholes with other things you love.
Reason being: over time, even the crappy stuff starts to feels comfortable.
By comfortable I mean it is comforting to us because it feels “normal” and familiar to us.
You get used to it being around and eventually attached to it, even if our lives would be so much better without it.
I love this quote by Paula Cole which goes like this:
“I think it’s important to find the little things in everyday life that make you happy.”
I mean it doesn’t sound like a life-changing concept but seriously how much better would it be if we did more of the things that make us happy?
The logical next step is to work out what actually makes you happy so you can fill your free time (once you have removed your time-wasters) with these special happy activities, people and things.
On the surface this seems like a fairly simple question – my family, my friends, my partner or spouse, of course they all make me happy!
But do they really?
I want you to dig deeper when trying to work out your answer.
Yes, your friends make you happy but what about the toxic friends who always make snide remarks or talk behind your back (reality check: those people aren’t really your friends)!
And sure you love your family, but maybe you have a brother, sister or cousin who is condescending or parent who puts you down?
Dig deep – Real Deep!
When it comes to answering this question don’t just write down what you THINK you should write.
I want you to really think about what I am asking you.
When was the last time you were happy?
Are you happy now?
Try to work out the ten happiest moments of your life.
Note them down and see whether there is a common thread running through these moments (maybe there is or maybe there isn’t).
If you had to take away everything from your life, what would you want left behind?
Take the time to write down all the LITTLE things you love.
The emphasis is on the LITTLE things here and to help you out I will give you some examples of my own.
Some of the little things I love:
- Reading a good book
- Taking a warm bath
- Sneaking in a nanna nap
- Taking a morning walk
- Dancing around to music
- Getting a massage
- Having a cuddle with my children
- Going on a family drive
- Playing board games
- Whenever I am writing anything (even writing this lesson makes me happy).
Think about everything that makes your heart feel full and complete – the things that make you feel at peace.
The reason I want you to focus on the small stuff in particular is because I really believe that Kurt Vonnegut Jr. was right when he said:
“Enjoy the little things in life because one day you`ll look back and realize they were the big things.”
NOW FOR STEP 4: Let Go Of What Is Weighing You Down
Some people say you should never bring up the past of a person who is trying to improve their future but I tend to think differently.
I believe it’s actually okay for a person to acknowledge where they have come from, the struggles in their past, AS LONG AS THEY ARE WILLING TO PUT THIS PAST TO REST AND MOVE FORWARD.
Here’s the thing – sometimes focusing on the past does more damage than good.
Take a moment to consider the following quotes:
“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” – Rick Warren
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” – Mother Teresa
During my work as a life coach, I always set a rule of thumb right at the beginning of the coaching series.
That is, the client had to be willing to let go of their past so they could turn around and face the right direction – their future.
In the end, you need to be willing to focus on what is the most important thing right now:
Where are you now, where do you want to be and how can we bridge the gap between the two?
You need to make a choice right now
If you are someone who doesn’t carry any baggage, scars, anger, resentment or disappointment from your younger years, I wish I could give you a trophy.
You are indeed a lucky individual and a very rare breed!
Unfortunately most people do – have a little baggage that is.
But that doesn’t have to be the worst thing in the world.
The truth is your past has given you the strength and wisdom you have today so you need to learn to celebrate it instead of letting it haunt you.
So my question to you today…
Are you ready to move on or are you not?
I’m not even sure what you are holding onto – maybe it’s a broken heart or spirit or the sadness that comes from having some shattered dreams.
Whatever the case, I hope you find the strength to let it go and set yourself free.
Yes you would be doing it FOR YOU, not for anyone else.
JUST YOU!
Like Buddha said, holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
I have never, ever forgotten some advice I heard as a teenager, which went something like this:
That which you kept locked inside will kill you while that which you set free will save you.
So are you willing to let go of the past or not?
If you answered yes, that’s fabulous!
If you answered no, I ask you now: what benefit or joy do you get from holding onto the past?
Practice forgiveness today. Say it out loud.
I am willing to move on and let my past go.
I am ready to accept that I can’t change anything that has already happened in my life until now.
I can’t even change yesterday but I CAN AND WILL do my best to take back control and make the rest of my life wonderful.
The past is done, it’s over and time to move on.
Remember: your past does not have to define or destroy you, deter or defeat you.
You can choose what to do with that experience and the best choice (only in my opinion, of course) is to allow it to strengthen you.
NOW FOR STEP 5: Expect The Hurdles
By now you should have a rough idea about:
- Where you ultimately want to end up in life
- What you need to let go of
- What you need more of (the good stuff!)
- And why it’s so important to look forward and not back (because that is the direction you are heading).
Before you even begin to start thinking about exciting goals to chase, I need you to understand the harsh reality of life.
I am going to give it to you straight:
You are going to face hurdles and roadblocks on your future path in life.
This is inevitable.
There will be obstacles.
There will be doubters.
There will be mistakes and possibly even haters.
BUT (and here’s the key point for you to take home) these hurdles are not barriers.
Working out how to jump over them is your key to success.
This is why I am discussing this idea with you BEFORE you begin your journey.
I believe it is better to be prepared and advised of any potential nasty surprises before you set off, so you don’t freak out and rush back to square one with your tail between your legs at the sight of the first hurdle.
When you see these hurdles now, you can’t pretend you didn’t know it was coming.
Because believe me, no amount of wishful thinking will make these hurdles go away.
So what are you going to do about it?
You need a game plan. You need to also understand the importance of mind over matter.
I can’t even begin to stress how you need to watch out because some of your worst hurdles in life will be MENTAL HURDLES.
You know the deal.
It’s too hard.
I can’t do it.
What’s the point of trying?
I don’t even really want it anymore.
These are the excuses we make up when we feel like giving up.
Except here’s the thing:
You need to let go of those thoughts if you want to move forward.
Because if you keep repeating these negative words in your head you will a) never make progress and b) stay stuck in your comfort zone forever.
Yes it will be hard.
Yes it will be challenging at times.
But the truth is you CAN do it.
Write down a list of the things that you can tell yourself when the going gets tough.
What words of wisdom do YOU need to hear?
What can you keep in the forefront of your mind that will inspire you when you feel like giving up?
Consider the following quote by Charlene Johnson who said:
“Need to get over a hurdle? It’s mind over matter. Tell yourself “You’re not tired. You are so strong. You can do this. You can do anything.”
NOW TO STEP 6: Find that thing that sets your heart on fire
“Create what sets your heart on fire and it will illuminate the path ahead.” Karma Voce
Now this is the point where we talk a bit about goals but guess what?
I won’t be giving you any lectures on the right or wrong way to set goals.
I won’t be telling you that you need to go for this or that or that it has to be a SMART goal.
Nope.
The only thing I want you to think about right now is what sets your heart on fire.
What is something that you dream about achieving?
Something that the mere thought of achieving it makes you feel blissfully happy.
That is all what I want to know. What do you dream about and crave with all of your heart?
Now it can be big (such as a dream of becoming a bestselling author) or not so big (just being able to run five miles without dying).
Whatever the case I want you to work with that right now.
But I trust that you have a good inkling of what that thing may be.
Now the good news
If your goal seems overwhelming or totally out of reach I want you to know that is okay.
Big goals are supposed to feel a bit scary.
They are supposed to make you feel a bit nervous, because that is how you know you have to step outside your comfort zone to achieve it.
The good news is you don’t have to HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.
All you need to do is work out LITTLE STEPS that will slowly take you in the right direction.
You don’t have to see the long road ahead…you just need to DO WHAT FEELS LIKE THE MOST LOGICAL STEP FOR YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW.
Take one step and then after that, you can ask yourself again:
WHAT IS THE NEXT RIGHT THING TO DO?
Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.
Write down whatever came to your mind when I asked you:
What dream sets your heart on fire?
Don’t worry if it seems crazy or out-of-reach.
Just write it down because there is some truth, passion and purpose in that goal that shouldn’t be ignored.
Now think about five little steps that you can do right now to help bring you closer to that goal.
You may need to put on your thinking cap for this exercise or ask someone you trust for an outside perspective on ideas if you are truly stuck.
Just note those 5 little steps but if you think of anymore, feel free to jot them down for future reference.
NOW FOR THE FINAL STEP # 7: Allow the Puzzle Pieces To Fall Into Place
I have to admit – it would be rather ambitious of me to assume I could dramatically change your life in just one episode.
Sure, that would be great if it did happen (three cheers to you if it did!) but the truth is this: I will be more than happy if I simply planted a seed of hope in your mind.
That is what I was aiming for – a little seed because I know full well how grand a seed can grow.
All the flowers you see in this world, all the enormous trees that now tower over you, all of these beautiful things started from just one little seed.
Imagine your life is a little like farmland.
Everything you do is a seed that you sow.
If you seed bad, bad things will harvest and grow. If you seed the good stuff, good stuff will harvest and grow.
You just need to make sure you are nurturing the good sort, the type that will make your life better and worse.
So that being said
What are the seeds you are planting today?
You now know what you really want out of life and after defining the little steps you need to do, you have a road map of sorts to start you on the path.
It doesn’t matter if you can’t see how you will get to your final destination right now.
That will come with time.
For now just assume that every tiny seed needs to be dropped into dirt (dirt is a metaphor for a life that may be crazy or chaotic) and if you just water this seed, it will grow slowly over time.
Before you know it, you will have grown something special and momentous in your life.
That is the law of nature and the law of life.
I want you to think of this as just the beginning and not the end.
You can begin by eliminating all your time wasters in your life and replacing them with the stuff you love.
That is the first step.
Second step is making sure to keep the right mental attitude in check – let go of the past and expect the hurdles.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to the incident so always keep this mind.
In a nutshell you need to know life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.
The final step is making sure to keep making little steps towards your dream.
If you continue to take small steps every day you will eventually get to where you want to go.
Even the smallest actions are steps in the right direction if you have identified them as necessary to achieving your goal in life.
So pull out your diary now and work out how you can schedule one stepping stone into your diary every day.
Just one – don’t try to do ten things or you will start to feel overwhelmed.
At the end of the month you will be thirty steps closer to your goal and at the end of the year you will be 365 steps closer.
That’s all it takes – one hour a day equals 365 hours per year and more than 1000 hours every three years of time devoted to achieving your goal.
With that commitment, you can and WILL achieve some incredible things.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey and please know that I am always here for additional support, cheering you on from my little side of the world.
Before You Go…
- Grab your free gift: How To Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself Guide (4 steps to finally get out of your own way) CLICK HERE
- Decide which course will suit you best CLICK HERE
- Listen to my Inspiring Mom Life podcast on Spotify or via Apple Podcasts.
With a degree in psychology, Frances Vidakovic is a certified life coach, course creator and host of the Inspiring Life Podcast. Her superpower is transforming dreamers into doers with simple, kick-up-the-butt strategies.
